Church family code of ethics  

1 Timothy 5:1-16; BCBC/IOUC; 2/6/2022; Rev. Paul Wang

 Introduction

1 Timothy covers all aspects of church life, and today we’re going to look at the code of ethics for the church family.  A church family can refer to the church itself or a family that has believed in the Lord. Ethics refers to moral and ethical norms that are in line with God’s will. Let’s look at the first point:

  To shepherd by age

The church family can be the interaction between the church and the respective families of the believers.   Today, we are more focused on the perspective of church pastoral care,  looking at the big family of the church.   First, respect the elders.   Regarding respect for the elderly,  Paul put forward a very important attitude, that is, do not rebuke an older man harshly. The reason for scolding the elderly is lack of patience and lack of love.  Repaying parents for their nurturing grace is acceptable to God.  If you can’t even practice filial piety to your own parents,  you can’t have true respect for the elders in the church, and you can’t have a testimony that glorifies God outside the church.  The church and the family should coordinate and strengthen each other.

Second, interaction with opposite sex with purity.  Paul lived in a male-dominated generation,  and most of the issues were viewed from a male perspective.   In fact, in the face of sin, especially the sin of both sexes, men and women are the same.   Paul mentions widows nine times in this passage,  including old and helpless widows, pleasure-seeking widows,  and young widows.   The same is true for widowers.  The church should help those in need,  whether they are widows or widowers.  But it cannot be indiscriminate and generalized just because it is a widow or a widower.  Especially for those who are in temptation,  such as young widows or widowers, who may be easily controlled by lust, leaving a gap and dishonoring the name of the Lord.  All in all, the interaction with opposite sex should be with absolute purity.

Finally, raise your children.  Of course, if children are not filial, parents are responsible.  Filial piety is learned by children at home,  from whom?   Of course, how parents treat grandparents,  how they will treat you in the future!   Different age groups should have different teachings.  However, it is necessary to avoid overdoing it, stepping into the vicious circle of debt psychology, and losing the original love!   Bring up your child so that he or she will go in the way he or she should go, and will not deviate from it when he or she is old.   You cannot just have children,  you have to nurture them, that is, education.  The difficulty in raising children lies in their unwillingness to change their lives, seeking convenience and saving trouble, and in the end it is too late to regret it!  A role model is a way of educating a child, a method that trumps other methods. Let’s look at the second point:

Caring according to the character toward different situation

What is “the character toward different situations”? “Character toward different situations” is the degree of a person’s moral self-discipline, plus “the character toward one another”.   It is the motive of caring for people.  Therefore, character is a comprehensive index of a person’s moral self-discipline and interpersonal relationships.  The church’s caring according to the character toward different situations is to build a testimony that glorifies God and benefits people.   First, a thankful life.   The Bible says that in everything we are to present our requests to God by means of prayer, petition, and thanksgiving.  Therefore, a person who believes in the Lord, a family who believes in the Lord, a life of thanksgiving is our “standard”, do you agree?  Thanksgiving will not naturally run into our lives, it needs to be nurtured, nurtured from childhood. Our prayers before meals,   our entrustment before and after going out, and our habit of praying in all things  help us experience a life of thanksgiving!  A thankful person must have the character toward different situations,  and a person who speaks words of gratitude has the character toward one another. A person who is grateful and speaks kind words,  God’s grace and peace will accompany him!

Second, the life of love. To thank your parent’s nurturing grace,  and aiming at God is love;   if you just aim at your parents,   it will easily become a mere formality, degenerate into a debt culture,   and ultimately miserable!   The Chinese culture of filial piety is aimed at parents,   ancestors, and debt culture, and most of them end up with bitterness and resentment!  Therefore, as parents, you should teach your children to focus on God, the only object of thanksgiving.  And do not ask for filial piety or money for raising children by yourself.   Because parents raise their children in serving God,   their only motive is unrequited love.  Even if the child does not give money,   it does not change the quality of love.  Even if children give money to their parents,   it must be out of love for God alone.  Otherwise,  not only will it not last long,   but bitterness will definitely be left behind.  Human love is limited, and the shelf life is not very long, unless it is connected with the Lord!

Finally, a life of discipline.  Paul mentioned that some people get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house.  Not only lazy,   but also gossiping, meddling,   and saying something inappropriate.   Will it be familiar?   Where there’s a crowd, it’s bound to be like this, right?   In fact, this is the fruit of the “self-control” of the Holy Spirit, how it bears!  A life of self-control is a life of sobriety.  To be cautious is to say something to your mouth,  stop for a moment, wait a moment, and speak slowly!  Don’t be in a hurry, there is always something going on in a hurry.  The words that are spoken are like being overwhelmed by water,  and the handle of the knife is also given to the other party to be slaughtered.   Let’s look at the third point:

 Church principles

In this type of family ethical principles, the church usually takes teaching as the purpose, caring as persistence, and vigilance as life.  First, teach the relationships in the church. Relationships in the church can be the most difficult relationships in the world, agree?    People outside the church don’t get along well,   and if it’s a big deal, they just don’t communicate with each other.   People in the church, that is to be with them forever!   Unless you don’t choose Jesus, you don’t choose eternal life,  you have to take it seriously.   Paul said: “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.”  The inner principle of this is to love God and love your neighbor as yourself!  If you do not love God, you cannot love others!

Second, care for those in real need.  Love your neighbor as yourself cannot be an empty phrase, it must be put into practice.  Paul said everyone should do their part, especially “If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.”  The mission of the church is mainly to preach the gospel, but it should also fulfill its cultural mission,  including caring for those in need.  However, there should be a consensus that the mission of the gospel is the church’s priority.   However, the church cannot see the needy and remain indifferent.   Because when Jesus saw the hungry people in the wilderness,  he felt pity in his heart.  He even performed miracles for them,  and fed them with five loaves and two fish, and there are remaining.

Finally, watch out for the enemy’s abusive handle.  We must know that Satan never sleeps.  He is like a roaring lion, crouching at the roadside door, looking for an opportunity to devour us.  If a person is weak, everyone should pray for support.  If one of us stumbles,   someone will point to the name of Christ:  Look, these Christians!  So unloving!   So, why are you calling yourself a Christian?  A little bit of impurity in a Christian will leave a breach for Satan.  If you believe in the Lord today,  then you become an apostate tomorrow.   Then, there is no shortage of insults.  For example, they do not teach their children according to the teachings of the Lord,    they do not take care of their aging parents according to the Lord’s mercy, they do not keep their duties,  do good deeds, do not receive strangers, and do not serve the church.   No need to say anything in human mouths,  ​​ Satan’s accusations are enough to cover up your life!

 Conclusion

Dear brothers and sisters,  the essence of the ethical code of the church family is to deal with the interpersonal relationship of the church.   The Bible teaches us to shepherd according to age and to care for one another according to the character of Christ.

Let us pray……

Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.

3 Give proper recognition to those widows who are really in need. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this is pleasing to God. 5 The widow who is really in need and left all alone puts her hope in God and continues night and day to pray and to ask God for help. 6 But the widow who lives for pleasure is dead even while she lives. 7 Give the people these instructions, so that no one may be open to blame. 8 Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

9 No widow may be put on the list of widows unless she is over sixty, has been faithful to her husband, 10 and is well known for her good deeds, such as bringing up children, showing hospitality, washing the feet of the Lord’s people, helping those in trouble and devoting herself to all kinds of good deeds.

11 As for younger widows, do not put them on such a list. For when their sensual desires overcome their dedication to Christ, they want to marry. 12 Thus they bring judgment on themselves, because they have broken their first pledge. 13 Besides, they get into the habit of being idle and going about from house to house. And not only do they become idlers, but also busybodies who talk nonsense, saying things they ought not to. 14 So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander. 15 Some have in fact already turned away to follow Satan.

16 If any woman who is a believer has widows in her care, she should continue to help them and not let the church be burdened with them, so that the church can help those widows who are really in need.